Reflections on my first eight weeks back in school

As everyone that reads my blog (AKA nobody but myself) surely knows — I have been attending school again since September. I made the choice to return to school and complete my engineering degree, and reign supreme over lesser peasants and my mental faculties. That being said, I’m genuinely surprised about how many of these (aptly named) “lesser peasants” have no doubt stumbled their way into the same engineering program that I’m registered in. If these fools are the caliber of human being permitted into engineering, I weep and fear for our future. These cretins are going to get us all killed because they’re unintelligent, foolish drunks, and arrogant fuck-heads.

These nit-wits are absolutely, dumbfoundingly, inconceivably stupid. I realize that people go to school to learn things, and nobody is expected to know everything right away — that’s not what I mean. The type of intelligence I’m referring to in this sense is more of a practical, “common sense” intelligence. For example, on of these future plagues of the earth, instead of taking notes, decided to take pictures of everything with the camera on his iPad. While this in itself isn’t the worst idea I’ve heard of, it gets worse when you look at the details. This class is in a lecture hall that seats 300 kids, and he sits in the back of the room. I`ll even give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume the photos come out readable. What really confuses me about this, is that the content we take notes on, and what he photographs, are just a powerpoint presentation the professor posts online at the end of the class for all to see. So not only is this simpleton not taking notes, or writing¬†anything down, he`s taking pictures of a powerpoint presentation he`s free to download to his computer, and ultimately annihilating the quality and readability of the slides.

These knuckle-dragging, mouth breathers are stumbling, drunken embarrassments. I understand that people like to go out and get drunk and maybe get a little rowdy from time to time — I`ve certainly thrown my fair share of lawn furniture around the yard. My antics, as entertaining as they were, pale in comparison to these genuine train-wrecks, not only in frequency, but also in a complete disregard for safety (of themselves, their friends, and the public) and hygiene. This all stems from the fact that I have, unfortunately, been riding the buss home lately, so I have been presented with the misfortune of listening to these goons shout their stories at on another in between bursts of laughter and expletives. I have plenty of examples — but I`ll share just the one I heard this evening. Two young lads sitting beside me were reveling in their antics just this weekend past. They went out with twelve of their friends from the school of engineering. Fourteen prospective engineers, and only one of them had the intelligence to bring a vehicle. No matter, they managed to fit 11 people inside this small Jeep, and three hung off the back bumper. I`m assuming the only reason they fit so many people inside is because they were all very well lubricated (albeit socially, but that still helps when you`re in a backseat sandwich), as they had been “smoking mad blunts and crushin some fuckin beers all fuckin night long“ — including the driver, the narrator of our story. Once loading up the inside and outside of the car with drunken pink gorillas, the driver, in his inebriated glory, decided the best course of action was to drive the very heavy car filled and covered with 13 of his peers at 70km/hr, dodging and weaving through wherever they were. Two of the three gentlemen on the back bumper jumped off well before the vehicle got up to speed, but the remaining one as well as the ELEVEN inside the vehicle were unlucky (read: dumb) to linger around until the driver lost control and slammed into a tree. Nobody inside was hurt, as there was likely no room for anyone to move, making a booze scented airbag of pubes and fat — but the young man on the back flew off the Jeep and knocked his head during his deceleration. He ended up getting a concussion and drinking for the rest of the night, insisting he was fine — so fuck him, I don’t care if he lives or dies.

These beef-headed children are all arrogant, entitled bastards (and bast-ettes, as the girls aren’t any better). I’d get into it, but I wont. I have boatloads of homework to do, and I’m tired of this anyways.

Highdea #1

Today was a good day because I had a good idea. I keep hearing about “life hacks”, which are essentially pieces of advice that make random things in your life easier. Today, an old homeless guy came into Caitys cafe, picked up a “Buy 10, get 1 free” stamp card — stamped the whole thing, and then left. I presume he plans on coming back when another girl is working. That’s when it dawned on me.

“Bum-life hacks”.

So to all you homeless people out there, just go grab a buy 10, get 1 free card, stamp the whole thing, and come back later. Because nobody is enough of an asshole to yell at you about jacking a free coffee every now and then.

Jimminy Crickets, it’s Sunday today.

I just watched an Austrian man jump off of a weather balloon at an altitude¬†128,000ft — and I get to sit inside and do homework all day. What am I doing with my life?

I’ve done about as much tidying up around my computer as I can handle, and have run out of reasons why I can’t sit down and do homework. Bring it on electronics, calculus, thermodynamics, and communications. Show me what you’re made of.